Pages

Friday, April 13, 2007

Your First Love

I awoke quite disturbed from a dream the other morning. It was even more tortuous that it was so similar to one I had a few weeks prior - only one character had changed. I was at a family gathering with my parents and sisters and their families. I was with a former love and there was no indication of my husband or of my children. My former love and I were holding of hands.

YUCK - what was that all about?!?! Why is my brain going there when I am asleep? And to have two dreams that were very similar, except a different former love. I have cut ties. I know that I know that I know that my husband is the man I was to marry.

So I asked God, what is the meaning of all this? And he says "Don't forget your first love - don't go down the road of your previous loves."
The next morning I read Jeremiah 3:1 . . . would not the land be completely defiled? But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers - would you now return to me?' declares the Lord. And verse 3 which says you have the brazen look of a prostitute, you refuse to blush with shame. And a few days later, Revelation 2:2-4 I know your deeds, your hard work, and your perseverance. . .You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken (give up or abandon) your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen. Repent and do the things you did at first. And I knew he wasn't talking about former loves in person - he called these things loves: schedules, having things in perfect order, scrap booking, friends, exercise, books, play dates . . . all those things that I have put in priority above him at one time or another.

These former loves in and of themselves aren't a problem, but when they became my complete joy and my source of satisfaction in life, then I'm guilty of adultery against my Lord and Savior. And over the last three crazy years of moving around, those things were taken out of my life for a season or they weren't as satisfying or they didn't look like they used to. I had to let go of some of them and hold onto God, because there was nothing else to hold on to. There is now more time for these loves, but God is lovingly reminding me He is to be my first love.




2 comments:

Amy said...

Okay, I've officially taken you off of my "abandoned blogs" list! Seriously though, you are so incredibly inspiring to me. You need to write more because I love reading your thoughts, convictions, revelations....

Jim and Jenn Blackman said...

Kim, this was exactly it. Thank you for continueing to write so that we can be inspired and learn from your marvelous morning dicipline and wisdom. Not only did it help me with my dreams but reminding me again how faithfull God is at speaking through His word.