Once again, I had blown it . . . I let my flesh rise up and out and there was that feeling of "Am I ever going to just walk the path without tripping over these emotions that sneak up on me like a rock or stump sticking out of the path while on a hike?" I was running on the treadmill, to get out the aggression, to spend time worshipping and getting my focus back where it needed to be . . . and those words came alive . . . stumbled AGAIN, still I'm caught in your grace . . .
The visual of a big net came to mind. The one underneath the trapeze artist who so gracefully swings . . . the safety . . . she does not go into this performance trying to fall into the net, yet it is there. Yes, she expects that she would at sometime in the learning process fall into that net, but now that she has got it down, the net is not removed. Something may be a little off, whether it is timing, form or whatever . . . the net is there, to catch her fall.
First Kings 20 says that God is Lord of the hills and the valleys. I don't know about you, but when I stumble into that net, it sure seems like a valley. And then I allow that valley to put me far from God. Yet God says to us "Don't hold me at arms length because of your sense of unworthiness."