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Showing posts from 2014

Playing Hide n' Seek

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I would play Hide n' Seek with you.
I would hide and you would find me.
You would squeal with delight 
  just as the toddler who found their Daddy
  in the hiding spot.

As you grow,
there is still the mystery of Hide n' Seek,
the delight of finding Me,
hiding in easy places
or in the very last spot you could think to look.

I am everywhere,
Hidden in every nook and cranny of your life.

You scurry off to find Me
just as your dog enjoys the chase,
the thrill, and
the excitement
of finding you!

I never tire of hiding Myself
to be found by you.
Day by day,
hour by hour
minute by minute.

There won't be a single time that 
you don't find Me 
because you are always seeking
and I will be found by You!


When you search for Me with all you heart, you will seek Me and find Me.  Jeremiah 29:13 & Deuteronomy 4:29



The Victory Lap

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The MMRF 5K
(Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation) Race for the Cure

I saw it on their website
one day, 
way back in the spring,
when you were 
in the beginning of the shock of it all:
the diagnosis,
the first treatments,
and no taste left,
tiredness and weakness
in your very active body,
which wasn't used to feeling that way. 
If anyone is the energizer bunny, 
it's you.

That day, I made a vow to myself
to run this race
FOR you
because I thought that come November, 
the way treatment was scheduled,
you would be too weak to run.

The race I thought I was crazy to run.
Alone. 
No team of family or of friends to join.
I hadn't even done any fundraising.
Standing there about to begin,
wondering what I had to prove,
what statement I was trying to make.

Because here you are Dad,
on the other side of MM now
the remission side.
But back in the spring, 
we didn't know we would be here so quickly!

So the race became the victory lap,
like at NASCAR.
The thanksgiving race,
The race of honor,
to celebrate the victo…

Staying in the Light

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The sunlight was peering through trees the other morning as I was jogging around the pond with the crisp cool air surrounding me. The leaves were thinking about changing colors, but not completely sure.

The path was pretty bright in the spots where the sun shone through. Yet it was darker and not illuminated in the shadow
where the sunlight was blocked by the trees.








Stay in the light.

For where the light is, there is life.
You may need to reposition yourself.
While standing in the shadows of the tree, sunlight pokes through and streams around. But it requires you to take a couple steps to the left or to the right to be standing in the light.

Trees of trouble, 
trees of thoughts and doubts,
trees of frustration,
casting shadows, blocking the light.

Move to stay in the light.



I find myself standing in the dark part of the path all too often. 
Reposition.
Positioning again. 
Moving to the light, a couple steps over, is oh so easy, yet oh so difficult. 

Staying in the light looks like standing on the pro…

Grace and the Gold Medal

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My youngest son won a gold medal at his karate tournament last weekend. His first tournament and he wins a medal. A gold medal. He was so excited to have that shiny object placed around his neck! 

He entered the tournament and showed up.

There was no competition in his division at his age group. 

He chose to compete a level up for a chance at winning another medal, but he was guaranteed the gold for his division. Just by virtue of showing up.

Reminds me of receiving grace.

The feeling that you didn't earn it, which is true. 

"Grace is the free, undeserved goodness and favor of God to mankind," says Matthew Henry.

There's no formula for grace. This isn't math class where a + b = c. Or, if you do a certain task, then you receive grace. 

There's no rule. If you try hard enough, you receive it. 

You go into the fight, the competition, or the life situation with the readiness and expectation to work hard. You are ready to "give it all you've got" and fight to…

Wandering eyes

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When my eyes start to wander As I look around to another
What they are doing?
Where they are going?

I start to lose my step, my way
I'm sinking quick,
please help!

I've wandered off the path
sidetracked by the noise and flashing lights
I've lost sight
of Your face,
and Your eyes

The One who whispers to me
This is the way - walk in it
I am the Way
This is the road I have for you:
Delight in me.

-from July 2014

Finding Fall . . . Finding True Identity

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I discovered a colorful leaf on the grass today. Another yellow and red one caught my eye as I jogged along on the path. Continuing around the pond, I could see a patch of red midst the sea of green leaves.

Fall. Autumn. My favorite season. How I love being surrounded by the beauty of the colors. Yesterday marks the official arrival of autumn, but the full splendor is not all around me yet. I only see glimpses of the beauty.

One here. One there. Like finding a treasure. 
And so it seems with Your touch, Your ways. Sometimes I have to look harder to see Your colors. To see Your presence all around me. To feel it. But still, You are there. All around me.

When we've lived in places around the world where the seasons didn't change, I would go through withdrawals. The crispness in the air. The changing colors - the bold orange, the bright yellow, the magnificent reds. And deep within, I knew, this longing was beyond the changing of the leaves' colors.

Deeper than the unmasking of t…

A Gift and A Voice

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A simple task.
A writing exercise.
Two questions.
Two very different answers.

What do I think about my writing?

It's scattered. A work in progress, since it has improved. Poetic at times. Some pieces are more powerful than others. 

Sometimes I wonder if my writing really "speaks" to anyone but me. I feel so vulnerable when I write.

At times, it's not composed well. Nor does it seem to make sense. Or flow. Maybe it's not as descriptive as I'd like it to be.

But it is my passion.
And it is my calling.
And it is something I have to do to solidify these conversations with God; my thoughts and feelings and what He speaks and reveals. 

So it goes deep.
It clarifies, reveals, and releases.

What does He have to say about my writing?

Your writing is a GIFT . . . to Me, to others, to you. It is a treasure I put inside of you. You've had glimpses years ago of this creativity, but you have no idea what I have in store for you through this gift.

Your writing is your VOICE - the one …

There's always a story

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Just like a good story
doesn't always start at the beginning,
it picks a point and begs the question.

How did you get here?
Where did you come from?

What was the path?
The journey that led you here?

You have to have perspective to know where you are. And sometimes to figure out where you are going.

True north.

That brings perspective.

Which way to go?

"Set your course by My promises," FJR reminds in Come Away my Beloved.

His promises are my perspective.

My true north.


I'm on a journey.

A path uniquely designed by God for me.

And my life is a story.

The story He is writing.


When I get frustrated with all the twists and turns on the path,
I hope to remember:

What's the point of a story, if not for the problems,
the climax,
the resolutions.

What an exciting read!
To see the goodness of God.
To see His hand upon my life.

Because if it was all planned out,
And if I knew the end
way back at the beginning?

I know I couldn't handle it.
And it would be
Boring.
Predictable.

He is the author.
Of su…

Testing

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from March 27, 2014

The wisdom of an eleven year old.
As we are driving home from art class.
He was thinking ahead,
about the upcoming event that night,
Getting prepared to test for a new belt in karate.

And he was reviewing in his mind,
all the moves, and
the various stances.
Contemplating what he needed
to be prepared for the test.
He realized and vocalized what he had learned was important.

Thing number one.
Stay focused 100 percent of the time.

Thing number two.
Do your very best.
Give it all you've got.
Crisp, strong moves (even if they aren't the right ones, he would say)
Even when you are exhausted
and think you can't move a muscle.

Thing number three.
Yell loud!
My translation of this phrase: participate fully with your voice.

And Tuesday night and tonight, I watched him do just that.

And I thought about how this translates to the tests that come our way in life. The spiritual battle rages all around. I am in a war. The book I was reading about parenting reminds me …

Overwhelming

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Inevitably, every Monday,
I wake up
overwhelmed by the "to-do" 
screaming at me.

It's overwhelming.
The things that need to be done.
One thing gets accomplished, checked off 
and there are two more to take its place.

STOP!

Be overwhelmed by Me!


The truth is, that if I don't live life overwhelmed by You,
the Overwhelming One, I will be overwhelmed by any and every thing else that comes my way.



This is what Kari Jobe sings about overwhelming


"The more I seek you, the more I find you. The more I find you, the more I love you. I melt in your peace. It's overwhelming."
Not just a touch, nor just a splash as of water,
but overwhelming waves of love.

How different daily life would be,
if I woke up
Overwhelmed by You,
The Overwhelming One.

I wouldn't be so overwhelmed
by tasks, chores, by people, or by my own lack and need.
I would be overwhelmed,
covered over completely,
and overthrown
by You.

I'm needing this course correction, to wake up overwhelmed by you. Taking moment b…

Weighted Down

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Weighted down.

She feels so weighted down.

Like the trees
that were once covered with snow,
then layered with rain,
and now turned to ice.

The branches hang heavy,
reaching to the ground.

Weighted down.



In the season
of His coming.

He came bringing light
and lightness.

Shining bright.
His load is light.



But she's still
Weighted down.

By the to-do list,
Daily life,
Preparations and plans
And the relationships that are just hard.




And He whispers:

Look.

Seek.

Me.

Light.

Nothing is too heavy for me to bear.




So she lays them down.
One by one.
The worries.
The fears.
The anxieties.


By declaring He is more than enough.
By living the truth that His grace is sufficient for every need.
By looking into those eyes,
Knowing perfect love.
It's like taking a deep breath of fresh air.



She can breath light again.

And with each load lifted.
Her heart is lighter.
Her countenance brighter.
Her joy returns.




Hope: Can You See the Potential

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Can you see it?

Through the dead of winter.

Through the fog that covers like a thick blanket,

Obscuring the view.

These dead leaves.

Brown, drab colors.

It looks as if life has left.





But life is what you can't see right now.

That's what hope is.

What you can't see.

Because if you can see it,
it's not hope.

If it were colorful now,
you would be experiencing it,
not hoping for it.

And that is where I am right now.

Hoping.

Through the deadness.
Waiting for the spring.
Waiting for the colors.
Waiting for the life.

To come forth and be realized.

The potential is there.
Just not seeing the evidence.

And if I could see all this now, it wouldn't be hope.
The boy-man who can't seem to figure out where to go and what to do,
I pray he's figuring it out.
Right here under our roof.
And it's been hard.
And it's been emotionally exhausting.

He has a new life plan.
It just seems to be taking forever
For it to come together.
And what if this is not
What's meant…

Time is not in your hands

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The clock.

It read 10:45.

But the time was actually 4:30.

Time had stopped.

Or should I say the clock had stopped telling time.

So I change the battery.

Reset the time.




The next day, when I look again, it was wrong. The time was not what it appeared to be.

It doesn't match up with real time. So I check the connections and reset it again.

The next day, it was off.

Again.

How many times must it be reset?

And it doesn't matter what I do.

I have changed the battery.

Checked the connections.

Reset the time.

But all that does NOT seem to matter one bit.

The time is too early.

Or it is too late.

And I can't control the timing on the clock.



The "aha moment." 

Naturally, I cannot get this clock to work.

I have done all I know to do.

There has go to be a meaning behind all this?!

I finally get the message.


Your time is in My hands.
Not your hands.


Wow!

But it feels

Off.

And it feels

Frustrating.

And it feels like

It will never change.

No matter what I do.

It.
will.
not.
be.
right.

True. If it was all up to m…