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Thursday, January 16, 2014

Time is not in your hands

The clock.

It read 10:45.

But the time was actually 4:30.

Time had stopped.

Or should I say the clock had stopped telling time.

So I change the battery.

Reset the time.




The next day, when I look again, it was wrong. The time was not what it appeared to be.

It doesn't match up with real time. So I check the connections and reset it again.

The next day, it was off.

Again.

How many times must it be reset?

And it doesn't matter what I do.

I have changed the battery.

Checked the connections.

Reset the time.

But all that does NOT seem to matter one bit.

The time is too early.

Or it is too late.

And I can't control the timing on the clock.



The "aha moment." 

Naturally, I cannot get this clock to work.

I have done all I know to do.

There has go to be a meaning behind all this?!

I finally get the message.


Your time is in My hands.
Not your hands.


Wow!

But it feels

Off.

And it feels

Frustrating.

And it feels like

It will never change.

No matter what I do.

It.
will.
not.
be.
right.

True. If it was all up to me and my ability.

I keep trying to make time match up with what it is supposed to be. I've done all I can.
"There are steps you can take to improve your current situation, but there are also things that are beyond your control. Do what you can and trust Me with the rest."           -M. Burns

I can't help thinking about the timing of things in my life right now.  Situations where I've done all I can do and have to leave the rest in His time.

Do I really want to force things to happen outside of his perfect time, even if I could? No.

Situations like our oldest son's decision to enlist in the Air Force. The process seems so unending and so NOT swift. Dates keep getting pushed back and he hasn't even gone to his processing appointment yet! It takes weeks to turn in an application. Weeks to get it cleared. Weeks to get a processing date.  And other situations, like waiting to find out IF and WHEN were are moving. The constant factor in our not-so-constant nomadic lifestyle of moving around with the military. If it was up to me, this would be all set up and tidied up a long time ago!

Yeah. IF it was up to me?

What might have happened?
Outside of God's plan.

C.S. Lewis' brings back to mind that I don't get to figure out what would have happened, as much as I think I want to. My youngest and I are enjoying the Chronicles of Narnia series. Oh, there is so much I missed when I read through it with the now 21-year old.  The other night while reading "Voyage of the Dawn Treader," Aslan says to Lucy:

Didn't I tell you once before, child, that no one is ever told what would have happened?

I was tempted to think that beginning the process before the holidays was a big mistake. But it sure taught a valuable lesson.

And then when the plans for the processing appointment all come crashing together in one busy week? I'm clinging onto great grace of My savior, who will carry me through.

He is reminding me:
It's only 10:45 a.m. on my clock when it looks like 4:30 p.m. to you. Your time is in my hands. It is not your own.

So don't panic.
When it stops.
And don't gasp.
When it doesn't go according to plans or efficiency.
I am way bigger than that!

David reminds me too, in Psalm 31:15, My times are in Your hands.

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